Egos Strengthen on Weak Dollars

A groundbreaking investigative report has mounted evidence to suggest the egos of financial extraordinaires worldwide have skyrocketed as the currencies of several nations have weakened. Egos have risen 10-15% based on complex metrics developed by psychoanalytical experts. Stock brokers, lawyers, and accountants are among the world’s business people being affected.

No one knows how long the ego trip will last, experts say. There are too many variables. An unnamed psychology guru said that the competition and despair of weakening dollars affects a part of the brain previously thought to only control annoying itches under the skin. The latest science suggests otherwise.

Interests in furthering the study are increasing. There are, however, few financial gurus who want to have their brains probed. The fear is that they’ll no longer crave the desire for money, sex, and power.

A different study however, said weaker dollars might inexplicably increase the political aspirations of rich people.