Ryanair to Introduce Toilet Tariffs

Ryanair,  the leading discount airline, announced new measures today aimed at combatting falling profits.  The Dublin-based airline revealed that net profit for the quarter fell to 94.7 million euros. This was a decline from  the 102.7 million euros profit recorded in the previous year.

Ryanair Abuse

A press conference followed the profit fall declaration. Chief Executive .Michael O’Leary announced that in order to arrest the slide in profits, a number of new measures are being reviewed. Along with reviewing its free second carry-on bag allowance because of  “abuse”,  the outspoken CEO said it was investigating the possibility of charging for use of the onboard toilets. The charge for toilet use is expected to be implemented on all flights two hours or less.

A  2 euro charge is currently being trialed on all Ryanair flights within the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland. Extensive research has been carried out to find out the maximum time allowed before a toilet break becomes absolutely necessary.  The results of the research revealed that women could last 1 hour 42 minutes, whilst on average, men lasted for 2 hours 29 minutes. Both men and women over the age of 60 were found to hold out for just 26 minutes before needing a quick trip to ‘powder one’s nose’. The charge is currently just 1 euro for over 60’s and under 14’s.

Free Toilet Breaks on FedEx planes

Multiple Toilet Use

At this point it is not known if the charge will be rolled out to routes with longer flying times. When asked, a spokesman for Ryanair declined to comment on whether or not the pilot project will be expanded. The spokesman stated that “Every time someone uses the bathroom, it costs us 12 cents.  Some people use the toilet five or six times on a 2-hour flight to Alicante. It’s not fair on us”

Many details of the toilet tariff remain unclear. When asked what alternative passengers have to not paying, it was a strong response. The Ryanair spokesman replied ” Either tie a knot in it or use a courtesy bucket in row 34″.